


Moneypenny's Last Mission

by christinefromsherwood



Series: 007 Fest 2020 [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: BAMF Eve Moneypenny, Eve Moneypenny & Q Friendship, Eve isn't happy about her assignment, Gen, Some Humor, much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood
Summary: MI6 can't leave special tech like Q's palm print Walther in enemy hands. Someone has to get the komodo dragon to Britain. It was Moneypenny who got stuck with the wonderful job of capturing a fucking 70-kilo killer lizard in enemy territory and smuggling it out of the country. Of course, it was.
Series: 007 Fest 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809718
Comments: 42
Kudos: 43
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Moneypenny's Last Mission

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kira_Katashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_Katashi/gifts).



> written for the Prompt Table: Fluff - Komodo Dragon and Anon Prompt #8/2020-- MI6 can't leave special tech like Q's palm print Walther in enemy hands. Someone has to get the komodo dragon to Britain.
> 
> also written for Kira and her awesome dragon emojis :)

It was Moneypenny who got stuck with the wonderful job of capturing a fucking 70-kilo killer lizard in enemy territory and smuggling it out of the country. Of course, it was. 

Was Bond, James Bloody Bond, who was the direct cause of her current assignment because he couldn’t bloody hold onto his weapon, any bloody help? Of course, he fucking wasn’t. He was off on a cruise with the oh-so-sad damsel in distress, Severine. 

“We’ll get you a helicopter at your extraction point, agent, but we’re not sending you any back-up to help you carry the bloody thing because we’re just massive pricks like that,” Eve grumbled under her breath as she fastened a pair of collars around the groggy komodo dragons. 

Yes, she was taking both of them! How the fuck was she supposed to know which one had actually swallowed the Walther? Bill could complain about what they were supposed to do with a pair of giant, aggressive, poisonous lizards all he wanted. Eve was sure Q branch would figure something out. Right now, she rather fancied using dangling over a dragon pit as motivation for troublesome double-ohs.

Straightening up, Eve eyed the cart on the catwalk above her and then the two quietly hissing lumps of lizards 7 feet below it. 

Not bloody likely. 

She took a deep breath. There was nothing for it.

“Hey you! Come give me a hand,” she shouted in Cantonese at the large security guard she had slipped past not 30 minutes ago. 

He shrieked and went for his gun. Eve gave him an unimpressed look.

“You… what are you doing there?!” he shouted back, pointing a gun at her.

Praying her hunch was right, Eve sighed and tilted her head.

“I’m pruning the roses. What do you think I’m doing, man? I’m taking Hiss and Larry for their walk!”

“What?!”

Eve sighed. “Are you new here or something?” 

The guard threw the komodo pit a worried look and cocked his gun. “No?”

“Well, then you have to be really stupid,” Eve informed him with a sweet smile, trying to ignore the nervous sweat gathering at the back of her neck. “Hiss and Larry have to take biweekly walks to help their digestive system. Trust me, man, you don’t want to clean up komodo diarrhoea. Now get in here and help me get them out.”

The guard stared at her, at the docile lizards, then at his gun.

“Oh hurry up, will you? The tranquilizers don’t last forever!” 

Turning pale, the guard jumped down, and among grumbling about bloody cousin Bảo and how he can forget changing shifts with him ever again, he helped Eve haul first Larry and then Hiss out of the pit and onto the cart. 

Eve turned to him one last time. 

“Thank you, Mr….”

“Nguyen.”

“Well, thank you very much for your assistance, Mr. Nguyen,” said Eve with a smile. “If I’m not back in half hour, send help. They’ll be waking up by then.”

Thus ensuring that no one would follow her any time soon, Eve gave Mr. Nguyen a parting nod and walked away, high heels clicking. 

With both komodo dragons safely aboard her motor boat, Eve typed out a text. 

_ Assets secured. ETA 40 minutes. _

Her phone rang the next second. 

“You’re alright, Moneypants?” 

Eve laughed. “Yes, I’m ok, A- Q! Like, I said, assets secured.” 

“Good, good, great,” Q babbled before suddenly being cut off by Bill:

“Wait a minute. What do you mean  _ assets _ ? You were only supposed to get one!” 

“Well, I was about to, darling, but Hiss and Larry simply refused to be parted,” she replied, injecting as much sweet sarcasm into her voice as possible.

“You’ve given them names?” Bill’s shriek on the other line sounded extremely thin and tinny. “You can’t name them, Eve, we’re not keeping them!”

Rolling her eyes, Eve started the engine and petted one dragon on the head. Then she shouted over the roar:

“Oh no, I’m losing you, Bill dear, chhhhhhhhshshshshshshs.”

Hiss (or was it Larry?) let out an angry hiss at the sudden noise. Eve gritted her teeth and gave him another shot of tranquilizer. 

After this she was parking her butt behind a desk and not going into the field no matter how many pairs of Louboutins Ai- _Q_ promised her.

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? Comments mean love and fest points. 👀

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Komodo-Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25037845) by [Kira_Katashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_Katashi/pseuds/Kira_Katashi)
  * [Oh ffs!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25548472) by [christinefromsherwood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood)




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